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I’m engaged, now what? Tips for the african couple

Wedding planning for an African couple is typically not limited to what is shown on TV. There are cultural norms and practices that should be accounted for early on. Last week we shared on the 5 preliminary things to do once you become engaged. Today we’re sharing on the first 5 things to do for the African bride/groom-to-be.

1. Consider your cultural traditions for engagements

In most African countries, engagements are not official until there is an engagement ceremony (example: an introduction or knocking, also known as “presentation de famille” in French) where the groom’s family formally asks the bride’s family for her hand in marriage. Should you and your families choose to partake, do make sure you plan that too. Consult the parents on both sides of the family to select the day to hold it and other logistics and do your research to uphold the standards of your culture.

2. Get a vision

Along with your fiancé(e), agree on a vision for your wedding day. Discuss everything from the size of the wedding to the theme to the wedding date to your desired ambiance. Also discuss the budget. Ask yourselves questions like whether you prefer traditional food from your country or any food that the venue can provide. The goal is not to finalize all the details for your wedding day but to come to an agreement on how you want your day to be. (Note: wedding planning is great grounds to exercise compromise, which is much needed in marriage).

3. Obtain family input

In most African cultures, weddings are a family affair. However, if you open the door for everyone’s input, it could lead to confusion and frustration. Determine those in your families whose input and advice matters the most to you (example: parents, a knowledgeable cousin), and share your vision with these individuals. Listen to their advice because they will have great tips and ideas for you. Ultimately it is your wedding day, but since your family (especially parents) are also emotionally invested in your wedding day, a good way to show them that you also care is to consider their input.

4. Start working on your guest list

When it comes to African weddings, it is important to start working on the guest list and guest count as soon as possible. That is because you will need to have a good approximate count before you book your hall. Speak to both sides of the family about the guest list and discuss how many guests they can invite. Make sure they understand and address any concerns about the guest list ahead of time so that there are no surprises after the hall has been booked.

5. Book your hall

Wedding venues book fast and large wedding halls do not come easily. Once you determine the time frame for your wedding date, know how much of the budget you want to allocate towards the venue, and also have a good enough approximate guest count do not delay in booking your hall.

Bonus: Hire a planner

African weddings most often have larger guest lists, more customs to take into account, and, consequently, more components to manage. On your wedding day you should not have to worry about details like whether the jollof rice will arrive on time. Hire an experienced wedding planner and one who understand the various customs of African weddings to help you carry that load from start to finish.

If you need a wedding planner, we would love to speak to you more about how we can serve you. Learn more about our wedding planning services by visiting our Weddings page.

Bridal party wearing ankara aso ebi at a Congolese traditional wedding in New England
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I’m engaged, now what?

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Jump, shout, dance… you’re engaged! You have met the one who you can’t imagine living without, and you’re on the road to happily ever after. Plus, you have a nice rock on your finger 😏. Sure, there’s a lot of work ahead in the wonderful world of wedding planning, but do take the time to rejoice. It’s a great day!

Now that you have celebrated, we have outlined five things to do as soon as possible once you’re engaged.

1. Get a vision

Along with your fiancé(e), agree on a vision for your wedding day. Discuss everything from the size of the wedding to the theme to the wedding date to your desired ambiance. Also discuss the budget. Ask yourselves questions like whether you prefer traditional food from your country or any food that the venue can provide. The goal is not to finalize all the details for your wedding day but to come to an agreement on how you want your day to be. (Note: wedding planning is great grounds to exercise compromise, which is much needed in marriage).

2. Choose the time frame for your wedding date

Along with your fiancé, talk through the month and year that works best for you. Perhaps you both desire a short engagement of just a few months. Perhaps you want to finish school first and need to wait over a year. Take the time to talk through the different factors that affect you and choose the time frame that works best for you.

3. Set your budget

Set your budget early on as it will set the tone for what you get, from the decoration, to the venue, to the cake, and it will determine which vendors you hire. As you set your budget, realistically consider how much money you already have allocated towards wedding expenses, how much more you can save by your wedding day, and how much you know for sure you will receive from loved ones (if applicable). It is important to set your budget before booking any vendors and to consistently update your budget as needed.

Black bride newly engaged in Boston, MA

4. Book your venue

Wedding venues book fast, especially during the peak wedding season. Once you determine the time frame for your wedding date and know how much of the budget you want to allocate towards the venue, do not delay booking your hall.

5. Consider Premarital Counseling

This is a part of wedding planning that is often overlooked yet it’s very important. As you start planning for that great day, make sure you do not neglect planning for your great marriage. Check with your church or a trusted counselor for pre-marital counseling classes to learn ways to build a solid foundation in your marriage. There are also great books that you can read to learn more about each other and prepare for life after the wedding day.

Bonus: Hire a planner

You may have hired great vendors for your wedding, but the wedding planner is the glue that will hold everything together. A professional wedding planner will guide you and will keep the planning on track from start to finish. They will form the plan to be followed by your team of wedding vendors, and they will be present to problem solve issues that may arise. The earlier you book a wedding planner, the better as it will allow you to receive assistance early on.

If you need a wedding planner, we would love to speak to you more about how we can serve you. Contact us today to learn more about how we can serve you! 

Black bride newly engaged in Boston
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Happy New Year 2018!

Happy New Year! What a blessing it is to be alive and to step into the year 2018! I, for one, do not take that for granted. From the entire A Peace of Cake Event Planning Family, I wish you a joyful and prosperous new year! May 2018 be full of love, laughter, and wonderful surprises. May your relationships flourish and may your family ties get even stronger and in unity. I hope you find yourself with many reasons to celebrate this year, and we will be right to help you with all your celebration needs.

With love,

Laetitia