Yesterday my love and I celebrated 7 years of marriage. All I can think to say is PRAISE THE LORD, Thank you Jesus! We have made it this far truly only by His grace. He has seen us through trials and conflicts. On the other side of the conflict we have found so much joy, and today I love my husband more than ever before.
Here are 7 lessons that I have learned in our 7 years of marriage:
- Conflict is inevitable. In marriage two imperfect people are coming together, and that is bound to cause some issues. However, as you and your spouse work hard at becoming ONE, it is possible to reduce these conflicts to a minimal occurrence. Prayer and putting our trust in Jesus has helped us tremendously to overcome recurring conflict during these 7 years.
- There is a purpose behind your marriage. God puts two people together for a reason and a purpose, and He has a plan behind your union. One of my husband’s favorite quotes is “Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction.” This translates to “Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.”
- You make each other better. I am by no means suggesting that one should enter marriage with the intent to change the other. However, I have found that in many marriages, people complement one another. The influence of my husband in my life has made me more outgoing. I am an introvert and he is a people person. Furthermore, his constant encouragement has been the boost that I have needed to carry forward this business. On the flip side, I have helped him to be more organized.
- Forgiveness is freeing. There is so much freedom that comes when you let go of offense. I used to hold grudges. But I have found that letting go of them free my mind and allow me to enjoy my marriage even more. On the flip side, I am also grateful when my husband forgives me. Forgiveness is a great reflection of love.
- How long you last in marriage is not dependent on emotional love. When we got married, the young, immature me thought that how long you last in marriage is based on how much you love each other but basing love on feelings. I have learned that the love that helps sustain a marriage is love according to God’s definition (Agape, as referenced in 1 Corinthians 13).
- Do not be above asking for help. There have been times when we needed the help of wise counsel to get past conflict. The alternative to not getting help is holding it in. This can cause bitterness and resentment to build up, and this would keep you from fully enjoying your marriage.
- The work is not over. In these 7 years I have learned that working on my marriage is an ongoing process. The love has to be nourished, the romance has to be maintained, etc. You must continuously work on building your marriage and to be intentional about pleasing one another.
Which lesson registers with you the most? What would you add to the list?